


Weird

by FloreatCastellum



Series: Slice of Life One-Shots [48]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkwardness, Father-Daughter Relationship, First Meetings, Gen, Meeting the Parents, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 18:32:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19090714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloreatCastellum/pseuds/FloreatCastellum
Summary: Lily is bringing her boyfriend round to meet the parents. Harry keeps being told that he's weird and should try to be less self-conscious, so thinks about that a lot, and James has shown up to enjoy the awkwardness.





	Weird

It had never been like this when Ted or James brought girlfriends home, because they had never deemed Harry and Ginny important enough to formally introduce. They had been left to work out who the strange girl in their house was themselves, and spent most of the time wondering where they were, swiftly opening doors they had insisted stay open and trying to get them to stay long enough in the room to get to know them, trying their hardest to keep the conversation light and crack jokes.

James and Teddy both said the pair of them, Harry in particular, were embarrassing in this way, though Harry thought it didn’t help that all their friends stared at his scar the whole time and left him lamely trying to connect when it was apparent they considered him intimidating.

It had been far easier with Scorpius - all the awkwardness was taken up by Draco, so there was none left to spare on the boys, besides which Scorpius was such an enthusiastic talker that there was never any trouble getting to know him. In many respects, Harry thought that was probably the easiest thing about his youngest son.

But now Lily, his lovely, chatterbox Lily, had giddily announced that her boyfriend was coming to meet them. For all Harry and Ginny had carefully cultivated a relaxed, cool, easy-going parenting style (at least they hoped they had), they were suddenly thrown into a mild panic while they prepared a Saturday lunch for him.

‘Don’t intimidate him,’ Lily had insisted with a glare, who seemed quite nervous herself.

Harry shrugged helplessly. ‘It’s not my fault if he-’

‘It is! And don’t be all weird and overcompensate for it either.’

‘What-?’

Lily checked her watch. ‘He’s going to be here in ten minutes, I’m going to re-do my hair.’

‘There’s nothing wrong with your hair,’ said Ginny. ‘It looks fine.’

Lily looked highly offended. ‘Why would you say that? It’s low-key terrible, I’m so done with it.’

‘It’s what?’

She stormed upstairs, leaving Ginny shaking her head vaguely as she waved her wand over the salad, which tossed itself easily.

‘Oh, god, I forgot to ask if he was a vegetarian or anything,’ she said. ‘And I’ve got a lemon cake in the oven but I’m sure she said one of her friends was allergic to lemons, I hope it’s not him-’

‘What does she mean overcompensate?’ Harry asked cluelessly. ‘If I say nothing, I’m being intimidating, if I talk I’m being embarrassing.’

‘Well…’ said Ginny carefully. ‘I suppose she’s just asking you not to try too hard to be matey with him.’

‘What d’you mean? I’m always friendly-’

‘I know, just… Hold back on the nicknames, you know - just don’t call him buddy, or squire, or mate-a-rooney-’

‘What- I don’t- I’ve never-’ spluttered Harry.

‘Just try not to be too self-conscious,’ she said kindly, patting his chest and then ducking to get the cake out of the oven.

‘Right,’ he muttered, ‘thanks.’

‘Oh, and could you go and sort out those horrible posters on James’s old bedroom wall? He’s put a sticking charm on but I’m sure you’ll find a way-’

‘No,’ said Harry. ‘I’m too busy focusing on not being self-conscious.’

James barged into the kitchen and promptly seized a large chunk of mozzarella off Ginny’s perfectly displayed charcuterie board.

‘James!’ she yelped.

‘What?’ he said thickly, through a mouthful of the cheese. ‘Hello to you too, you haven’t seen me in two days-’

‘That’s not for you, that’s for Rowan-’

‘Ugh, yeah,’ said James, wrinkling his nose. ‘That’s today, isn’t it?’ He turned to his father. ‘Don’t be all weird about it-’

‘Why does everyone keep saying that?’ exclaimed Harry, flustered. ‘You joining us then?’

‘Yeah, I guess,’ said James lazily, glancing at the clock. ‘Are Al and-’

‘No,’ sighed Ginny, ‘They’ve gone on holiday again - James! Stop eating all the food!’

‘That’s what it’s there for, isn’t it? You’re as bad as Dad - look at all this, look at all the effort, he’s just some seventeen year old, it’s not like we’ve got anyone famous coming. You could have just bunged a pizza in-’

There was a rumbling on the stairs, and Lily reappeared in the kitchen - her hair looked exactly the same as it did before. ‘Oh, much better!’ said Ginny. ‘On fleek, is that right?’

Lily gave her a withering look and then returned to her flustered pacing; she kept wiping her hands on her jeans and her breathing seemed to be rather shallow. ‘He’ll be here in two minutes,’ she said.

‘What are you gonna do to him if he’s late?’ asked James seriously. ‘Are you going to kill him?’

Lily ignored him, glancing over the food. ‘Is this going to be enough for us? I didn’t realise James was going to be here too.’

‘Neither did I, just thought I’d drop in on my parents, I wasn’t expecting to find everyone on the verge of panic attacks,’ said James, reaching for an olive.

‘There’s enough,’ said Ginny soothingly, smacking James’s hand away. ‘Shall we wait for him in the living room?’

‘Yes - wait, no-’ babbled Lily. ‘Would that be weird, us all waiting for him? Maybe we should be more casual-’

‘Some of us could wait in here and some of us in the living room,’ suggested Harry.

‘Don’t be weird, Dad,’ said James, grinning.

‘No, that’s good - that’s a good idea,’ said Lily, her eyes darting madly. ‘Mum - come and wait with me in the living room - you two stay in here-’

She seized her mother by the arm and hauled her out of the room, leaving Harry and James in the kitchen. ‘Are we not all going to line up so he can come and shake our hands?’ James asked.

Harry frowned at him. ‘Behave yourself. You didn’t forget, you’ve just come round to enjoy yourself, haven’t you?’

‘I’m excited to meet the lad who is finally brave enough to date the daughter of the Chosen One. Hey, Dad,’ he said in a low voice. ‘Why d’you think he’s not afraid of you?’

‘He’s probably got a bit of common sense,’ said Harry.

James tilted his head with a hum, looking playfully pained. ‘Maybe… Maybe he’s not afraid of you because he’s already slept with Lily and knows there’s nothing you can do about it. She is seventeen now, after all.’

‘What is wrong with you?’ Harry asked, cringing. ‘That’s your little sister, don’t say that.’

James just grinned and dunked a piece of bread in the neat dish of olive oil. ‘You’re right, she is my baby sister, I need to make sure this guy isn’t messing her around.’

Harry rolled his eyes, and grabbed an artichoke, chewing on it moodily and wondering what would be a normal way to talk to a teenage boy. From the living room, high pitched voices sounded, seemingly in greeting. ‘That’ll be him,’ he said, hastily wiping the oil off his fingers and standing. James didn’t bother - if anything he leaned further back in his chair.

‘Try not to-’

‘Don’t,’ said Harry warningly.

The door opened, and first came Ginny, and then Lily, and then Rowan.

He had tanned, Mediterranean looking skin, with dark eyes and a mop of warm brown curls that made Harry think of surfers. Harry had expected him to be lanky for some reason, perhaps because most of the teenage boys he had known were, but he had broad shoulders and a barrel sort of chest, with thick arms.

He grinned sheepishly at Harry and James. ‘Hello, Mr Potter, nice to meet you.’

He held out his hand, and Harry shook it, hoping his smile was normal. ‘Call me Harry, please-’

‘Mr Potter is my father,’ mocked James from behind him, making his voice deep and pretentious.

‘Shut up,’ Lily hissed at him.

‘And this is my nightmare son, James,’ said Harry, tipping his head back to look at the ceiling in irritation.

‘Oh, I know James,’ said Rowan timidly. ‘He was a few years above me-’

James snapped his fingers. ‘That’s where I know you from, you were that kid that stepped in for Schilling on the team when he got dragon pox.’

‘That’s right,’ said Rowan. ‘I replaced him eventually - the year after you left.’

‘Lovely,’ said Ginny, who was hovering anxiously, glancing at the food. ‘Well, take a seat, Rowan- everyone- I hope it’s all right, I just laid out a few bits and everyone can help themselves, I thought that would be easier than a full meal. You’re not allergic to anything, are you?’

‘Er, no, I don’t think so,’ said Rowan. ‘It looks lovely, Mrs Potter.’

They took their places at the table, and there was a slight pause when nobody wanted to be the first to help themselves to food, something James broke easily by leaning across his sister to grab more cheese. But even then, nobody really knew what to say, and so they ate in silence as Harry desperately ran through a range of questions he could ask, dissecting each one to try and figure out if they would embarrass his daughter.

‘So, Rowan,’ said Ginny conversationally, ‘you play Quidditch.’

‘Yeah, I’m the beater,’ said Rowan quickly. ‘But I have an old Harpies annual with scenes from you playing, Mrs Potter, you were excellent-’

‘Oh,’ said Ginny, laughing slightly, her ears turning pink. ‘That was quite a while ago-’

‘No, really, there’s a whole section on that match in 2001, against the Wimbourne Wasps, and that amazing Tahiti Twist move you did-

‘Thanks, mate, that’s so kind-’

Harry shot her a look, annoyed that she was apparently allowed to use the word mate.

James apparently noticed, and decided to prod a bit more. ‘You know, my dad was good at Quidditch too. He was the youngest seeker in-’

‘A century,’ finished Rowan. ‘Yes, I know, my dad told me.’

‘Really? Who’s your dad?’

‘Oliver Wood-’

‘Brilliant!’ Harry half-shouted. ‘I know him-’

‘Your parents called you Rowan Wood?’ interrupted James dubiously.

‘-I had no idea he had kids, I didn’t realise we’d lost touch this much - Oliver’s brilliant - how is he? What’s he doing now? He was a great Quidditch Captain,’ continued Harry, very loudly.

‘I just assumed he was exaggerating all the time,’ said Rowan, who looked rather taken aback at Harry’s sudden enthusiasm. ‘You know, I assumed he might have played a couple of games with you-’

‘Oh, no, he was an excellent keeper and then we met up a few times after the war through George - do you know George?’

‘I-’

‘Oliver was always so dedicated, really competitive - in a good way, I mean-’

Lily kicked him under the table, and he fell silent suddenly.

‘Why didn’t you go into professional quidditch, Mr Potter?’ asked Rowan. ‘My dad always said-’

‘He asked you to call him Harry,’ said James, with exaggerated annoyance.

To his credit, Rowan ignored him, as did Harry. ‘Oh, well, you know, couldn’t really see myself doing anything but being an auror. During the war-’

‘Don’t tell war stories,’ said Lily quickly. ‘I told you not to-’

‘Right, you did, sorry,’ said Harry.

‘I don’t mind-’ began Rowan.

‘All dad’s stories are too depressing to have over lunch,’ said James helpfully. ‘Anyway, I’m sure you know them all already. So, Rowan, how did you get together with my baby sister?’

‘Er…’

‘Stop it, James,’ muttered Ginny. ‘Just ignore him, Rowan, you don’t need to-’

‘It’s nothing inappropriate!’ exclaimed Lily. ‘Don’t let James pretend it is - he just asked me out, it’s all normal - we went to Madam Puddifoot’s-’

‘Is that place still going?’ asked Harry, surprised. ‘I couldn’t stand it in there.’

‘I hadn’t been before,’ said Rowan, blushing furiously. ‘It was a bit much-’

‘I’m with you there, mate, it’s not very chilled out, is it? It’s all a bit cringe-’

‘Ugh, Dad…’ said Lily quietly, wincing.

‘What?’

‘No one uses the word cringe anymore, Dad,’ said James. ‘It’s very 90s. Why don’t you just say groovy while you’re at it?’

‘I’m not so old that I ever used groovy,’ said Harry. ‘What do people say now then?’

‘I’m not telling you in case you start using it,’ said James.

Ginny looked at Rowan with a sigh. ‘Are you this mean to your parents?’

‘Erm…’

‘Aw, that’s not fair, is it?’ said James, waving a piece of parma ham and sending flecks of olive oil everywhere. ‘Don’t use him to tell us off, you’ll make him feel uncomfortable. Don’t worry, Rowan, I’ll stick up for you.’

‘Why are you here, haven’t you got an auror exam to be studying for?’ asked Harry.

‘I don’t really find it fair that I have to do an exam to qualify, you never had to-’

‘Yeah? Well, defeat a dark lord and we’ll forget the exam.’

‘Rowan,’ said Ginny quickly, ‘what are you thinking of doing after you finish school? Not long now.’

‘Oh, well I’m not sure - Dad wants me to go into Quidditch, and I think I’m all right but probably not professional level-’

‘He’s being modest,’ said Lily. ‘You’re really good, Rowan.’

He smiled, but still looked awkward. ‘I dunno… I think I’d probably like to be in the industry though, there’s a decent apprenticeship in broomstick design for Nimbus-’

‘My first broom was a Nimbus,’ said Harry fondly. ‘A Nimbus 2000-’

‘Merlin!’ exclaimed James, looking appalled. ‘A 2000? You’re so old…’

‘They were good brooms,’ said Harry defensively.

‘They were,’ agreed Ginny. ‘One of the fastest at the time.’

‘They didn’t even have mapping charms on them back then,’ said Lily, ‘you had to attach compasses if you were going on a long journey-’

‘Yes, I had one,’ said Harry, and the kids all laughed. He didn’t mind; Rowan looked a little more relaxed, and now that he was talking about broomsticks he could see the resemblance to Oliver, and for some reason that put him more at ease too.

‘Is it true you had a broom designed for you?’ Rowan asked him.

‘Ah, yes, the Lightning Bolt.’

‘Tacky name,’ said James.

‘A bit on the nose, yes,’ said Harry. ‘I didn’t ask for it, it just turned up as a free gift when I turned nineteen. It’s still up in the attic, I think.’

‘What did they do that for?’ Lily asked.

‘Someone - I think maybe Angelina? Or Katie? Anyway, someone mentioned in front of a journalist that I was looking for a new broom because I’d lost my Firebolt during the war, and then that company saw it as an endorsement and their shares rocketed, and I suppose they wanted to make sure I stuck with them. Going to be honest, I always preferred the Firebolt.’

‘They were classic brooms,’ said Rowan sagely. ‘They go for a lot nowadays.’

‘I should hope so,’ said Harry. ‘Brilliantly designed. So what do you fly, buddy?’

They’d found a topic to settle on; the conversation was far easier now. Lily even laughed at one of Harry’s jokes, and he thought he saw her a few times looking delightedly between the pair of them. They were heading out after the meal (Lily had wisely learnt from her mother about always setting a strict end time for social occasions expected to be awkward), but Harry was surprised that Lily came back into the room while he cleared the table, leaving Rowan, James and her mother chatting in the hallway.

She flung her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. He put down the empty plate and hugged her back. ‘He seems nice,’ he said.

‘Thank you for not being weird,’ she said. ‘Or intimidating.’

‘Well, thank you for not bringing home a Death Eater or something,’ he replied.

‘You really like him?’ she asked, looking up with nervous eyes.

‘Sure.’

‘Good, because we’re thinking of living together after I finish school.’

‘Oh,’ said Harry, his stomach suddenly feeling as though it were full of ice. ‘Right, of course… Because… I mean, obviously, you’re old enough. It’s normal to move out after school isn’t it?’

‘Yeah,’ she said hesitantly. ‘The boys both did.’

‘Yeah, course they did. Yeah. So did me and your mum when she finished school.’

‘Yeah.’

‘That’s great, sweetheart.’

‘Really?’ Lily hugged him a little tighter. ‘Because I know we haven’t been dating long, but I’ve known him ages, and it wouldn’t just be us, there’d be a little group of us-’

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. ‘You know I’m happy if you’re happy.’

She beamed at him. ‘Thank you.’

He smiled as he nodded at her, and to his horror felt a prickling at the back of his eyes. ‘Go on, you better get going or you’ll be late for your concert.’

He followed her out to the hallway, and hugged her goodbye, before shaking Rowan’s hand once again. ‘It was good to meet you,’ he said.

‘You too, Mr- H-harry-’

‘He’s got other names if you feel more comfortable with them,’ piped up James, ‘you know, The Chosen One, Boy-Who-Lived, Le Survivant if you want to go French-’

‘James,’ sighed Harry. ‘Be quiet before I change the rota so you’re on Azkaban duty for the next month.’

‘Never work with your dad,’ James advised Rowan. Then he elbowed Harry. ‘Say something like ‘look after my little girl’, or-’

‘James,’ said Ginny sharply.

‘I’ll see you soon,’ said Harry. He looked at Lily. ‘You’ll have to get him through a Sunday lunch at the Burrow, you know.’

‘Oh, god,’ she said, wincing. ‘You’ll be fine.’

‘Right,’ said Rowan, looking alarmed again.

‘I’ll be back later,’ said Lily. ‘See you.’

‘Enjoy the concert,’ said Ginny, and then they were gone, leaving Harry staring at the closed door.

James sighed heavily and turned to face his parents, with his hands on his hips. ‘Well that wasn’t nearly as awkward as I was hoping it would be. I’m very disappointed in the both of you.’

‘You tried your best,’ Ginny told him. ‘But as parents, we’re just too cool to be too embarrassing.’

James shook his head sadly and sighed again. ‘It’s that kind of thing that just makes it so much worse, Mum.’

She just smiled, and took Harry by the hand, pulling him out of his daze and leading him back to the kitchen. ‘Fancy a glass of wine?’ she asked him.

‘Yes. A big one.’


End file.
